WHERE'S JOY?

by Pam Gems

Copyright © Pam Gems
Pam Gems is hereby identified as author of this work in accordance with section 77 of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988. The author has asserted her moral rights. 

All rights whatsoever in this play are strictly reserved and application for performance etc. should be made before rehearsal to Rose Cobbe, United Agents, 12-26 Lexington Street, London W1F 0LE, UK. Tel: +44 (0) 20 3214 0800.
http://unitedagents.co.uk/agents/rose-cobbe/. Assistant: Dan Usztan. Email: dusztan@unitedagents.co.uk Tel: +44 (0) 20 3214 0873. No performance may be given unless a licence has been obtained.

WHERE'S JOY?

CAST

		MOIRA, early 40s.
		SALES LADY.
		TOBY, teens, dark, pudding hair-cut.
		CLAIRE, teens, blonde and attractive.
		NICK, teens, stocky, Jewish.
		PAUL, teens, good-looking.
		RACHEL, Nick's mother, comely, 40s.
		HAL, Paul's father, 40s, trendy.
		CLELA, 20s, American, a model.
		ERNEST, thin, 50s.
		SCOTTIE, heavily built, late 30s.
		ANN, teens, middle-class accent.
		JOY, 40ish, full-bodied, black hair, white face, intense.
		RAYMOND, Nick's father, 50s, well-built.

WHERE'S JOY?

Prologue.

A committee room in the House of Commons.  The time - today.

			ANN
		(Offstage)  No, no, quite all right - I'm early - not at all...thank you, I'm fine.

ANN enters.  She is an attractive woman in her forties.  She wears functional but elegant clothes and has a good hair-cut.  She looks at the papers laid out for the meeting, peruses them with close attention.  She turns at a sound.

PAUL enters.  He is in his forties, less formally dressed, lean, tanned, good-looking, wiht an intelligent face.  ANN smiles politely.

			ANN
		Another early arrival.

			PAUL
		Hullo.  Congratulations on the appointment.

			ANN
		Culture, Media and Sport - not known as preferment.

			PAUL
		All the more room for -

		(She smiles up at him in enquiry.)

			PAUL
		- busting guts?  Laying landmines?

ANN laughs, and then comes closer.

			ANN
		Don't I know you?

She peers into his face, and jerks back in surprise and recognition.

			ANN
		Paul!

			PAUL
		Ann!

They stare at each other and then embrace warmly.  PAUL steps back, shakes his head in wonder.

			PAUL
		I didn't - I'd no idea you were Ann Phillipson - the Ann -

			ANN
		Different surname.  Married name.
			PAUL
		You didn't keep your own name, Ann Vernon?

			ANN
		No.  Well, you know - the kids.

			PAUL
		Kids?

			ANN
		Two boys and a girl.  You?

			PAUL
		I have a son.  He lives with his mother in Montana.

			ANN
		Do you see him?

			PAUL
		Oh yes.  So...are we going to get anything?

			ANN
		Not a lot.  As little as possible - but something.  You're here for - ?

			PAUL
		Trees.

			ANN
		Oh Paul!  Of course.  It was always trees.

			PAUL
		(Surprised)  Was it?

			ANN
		Oh yes! - amongst everything else.  We were in Hyde Park once and you said that town parks made you feel claustrophobic but that the trees were superbly tended - model forestry.  I read your book on the Amazon.  Where are you living - what country?

			PAUL
		Oh, here and there.  I move about.  You've moved about a bit yourself.

			ANN
		Well, keep trucking as we used to say.  (She smiles at him.)  Funny though.  Here we are, still - 

			PAUL
		Yup, still - 

			ANN
		Plus ça change, eh?  It's exceedingly good to see you.

			PAUL
		You too.

			ANN
		I feel quite fortified!

PAUL shakes his head.

			PAUL
		Uch-uch.  As the Minister, you're the enemy.

			ANN
		Well, as I say - plus ça change!  (They laugh.)  How is your mother?

			PAUL
		Moira?  She's fine - "Look, we have come through!"  Married a New Zealander with a farm the size of Devon - my father's still sulking after calling her a loser and doing her out of the house.

			ANN
		I liked Moira.

SCENE 1.

The time changes to the early Seventies.  Our attention is drawn to MOIRA, who is in a changing room and stands before a store mirror as ANN and PAUL disappear unobtrusively.  MOIRA has tried on a droopy long dress in swirly purple and brown.  The medieval sleeves are too tight and the dress displays her stomach.

The SALESLADY looms up behind her.

			SALESLADY
		How are you getting on - ooh that looks nice!

She catches MOIRA'S eye.

			SALESLADY
		I'll see what else I can find.  (Goes.)

			MOIRA
		No, don't b-

She struggles out of the dress, sinks onto a spindly chair, looks at herself in her discoloured underwear.  The SALESLADY erupts again through the curtains.

			SALESLADY
		What about a trouser suit?

MOIRA just looks at her.  There is a moment of truth between them.

			MOIRA
		Thanks anyway.

			SALESLADY
		Sorry.

She disappears.  MOIRA looks at herself in the glass, rises, grabs her stuff and wanders off in her underwear.

SCENE 2.

Three YOUTHS erupt onstage.  They wear school blazers.  They play around robustly, shouting hoarsely.  CLAIRE, an attractive blonde girl, walks past.  TOBY, a dark boy with pudding hair-cut and a closed, somewhat Asiatic face, throws himself at her feet and propels himself on his back before her.  She sidesteps him deftly and he jumps up.

			TOBY
		(Calls after her)  Hey Claire, your ass wobbles!

She wheels back and clouts him with her schoolbag.  It is a well-aimed blow and he staggers.

			NICK
		(Dark, not thin, takes CLAIRE suavely by the arm)  Catherine - I had to come.  (US accent.)

			CLAIRE
		Get out.

They box her in.

			NICK
		(US accent)  If you would only let me Explain!

She dodges them, gives PAUL, the third boy, rangy and good-looking, a challenging stare.  He turns away.

			CLAIRE
		Anyway, why weren't you lot at the meeting?

			PAUL
		De Forrest was there.

			NICK
		Yeah, real coup - big asset.  That guy's going to be England's first black Harold Wilson -

			TOBY
		No he's not.

			PAUL
		He's got a trial for West Ham.

			NICK
		You're kidding - a schwarzer?  What do you know?!

			CLAIRE
		Fuck football.  You better make the next one, Joy was mad.

She slings her bag on her shoulder, gives PAUL another challenging stare and goes.

			PAUL
		(To TOBY)  Was she mad?

TOBY shrugs.
			TOBY
		We're not speaking.  I said I'd do the leaflets.

NICK jerks his head at PAUL.

			NICK
		That was his fault.

			PAUL
		I forgot.

			NICK
		You always forget.

			PAUL
		What about you, bourgeois hyena?

			NICK
		I couldn't miss it, it was a Cagney film!

			PAUL
		(To TOBY)  When's the next gig?

			TOBY
		Tomorrow.

			PAUL
		God I hate meetings.  Your stomach going like a bloody geyser - look, are meetings a fucking mammalian anomaly or is there something wrong with me?

			TOBY
		You just need to screw more.

They look at him.  He gives them a rictus smile and lopes off.  They watch him out of hearing range.

			PAUL
		I reckon he's the one going funny in the head.

			NICK
		What makes you think that?

			PAUL
		Him and his fucking mother.

			NICK
		Yeah, weird.  (Going)  Caio.

			PAUL
		(Calls after him)  Hey, did youu do the essay on Pitt?

			NICK
		(Walking backwards)  Yeah...

			PAUL
		And you've bloody given it in!

			NICK
		(Going, calls)  Had to do something to bring her on.

He goes.  PAUL grins, then moves about, moody and indecisive.  Finding no solution to his problems he goes separately.

SCENE 3.

NICK, at home, lies sprawled, listening to music, joining in with his guitar and ad-libbing vocals.

RACHEL, his mother, a comely woman, successfully dressed in warm colours, she likes velvet, enters, laden with expensive shopping bags.

			NICK
		Been shopping?

			RACHEL
		Sweaters!

She hauls them out of the shiny bags.

			NICK
		Six?  What you want to buy six for?

			RACHEL
		Because we can afford it.  (She smooths a sweater.)  Cashmere - beautiful - don't wear it when you're eating, Nicky, or I'll kill you -

			NICK
		Ma!

			RACHEL
		And don't look Protestant at me.  Buy and sell -buy and sell - you have to turn money round eight times a year otherwise the world stops spinning.

			NICK
		Come again?

			RACHEL
		It's what I read and if you'd went away to a good school like we wanted, never mind.  There's no shame in being well-dressed, what's wrong with looking good, you're a beautiful boy - find some new friends, nice ones and - oh - by the way - Ruthie and her mother are coming for dinner tomorrow, don't forget, she's a lovely girl.

			NICK
		I'm not old enough to get married.

			RACHEL
		(Laughs)  Get married...get married!  (She hugs him fondly and kisses him.  He doesn't mind this.)  Such a handsome boy.

She goes.  NICK strums the guitar...drops it, puts on all the sweaters, a loud golfing cap and goes.  He re-enters at once.

			NICK
		(Muttering to himself)  Buy and sell...buy and sell...suy and bell...buy and sell...
			TOBY
		Where you going?

			NICK
		Over to fuck Vanessa, wanna come?

			TOBY
		I've got my essay to do - oh, OK.

They go.

SCENE 4.

PAUL and MOIRA at home.  He wears an old raincoat nearly down to his feet, tied with string, and an Aussie hat, turned up at one side.  It is too big, low on the brow, making him look mental.  MOIRA gazes at him without expression.

			PAUL
		Don't look like htat, I have to see him, he's my father, anyway I'm broke.

			MOIRA
		I hate it.

			PAUL
		Why?  It's finished, done with.  You're not jealous of Her, are you?

			MOIRA
		She's young.

			PAUL
		Production line, this week's offer!  They're not in your class, either of them.

		(She sniffs.)

		Mum, for Christ's sake.

		All right, I won't go.

			MOIRA
		No, go.  Go.  I can't...it's...

			PAUL
		Get another man.

		Why not?

MOIRA tries to recover.

			MOIRA
		(Hopeless smile)  The Avon lady made up my face.  What do you think?

			PAUL
		No, it looks silly.  You don't need - it's not your style.  You could lose some weight.

			MOIRA
		(Furious)  Oh get out!

SCENE 5.

PAUL at his father's flat in Holland Park.  His father, HAL, is trendy, careful, tough.  His girlfriend CLELA, is a model in her mid-twenties.

			HAL
		Well, if not university, then what?

CLELA pushes a big bowl of dip towards PAUL, and a dish of crackers.  He sticks his whole fist in the dip and licks it.

			PAUL
		Dunno.  Bum around, I guess.  I could try a bit of business.

			HAL
		Don't even think about it.

			PAUL
		The money's good.  OK...OK...how about a handout?

			HAL
		Not a good moment I'm afraid.

			PAUL
		When is it?

			HAL
		I paid for your trip to Iceland, and your teeth.

		(PAUL sticks his fingers in the dip, swirls them round and round.)

		Don't DO that!

		(PAUL looks in mock-innocent enquiry.)

		It's offensive.

			PAUL
		Why?  My hands are clean.

			CLELA
		(She is American)  It is offensive because you do it to offend.

			PAUL
		Could be.  (He licks his fingers)  Ugh.

			CLELA
		What?

			PAUL
		Why mash the fruits of the earth into smooth sick?

			CLELA
		(Baffled)  It's supposed to be like that.

			PAUL
		Loose-bowelled owlshit.

His father hands him a fiver.

			HAL
		Here.  Buzz off.

		(PAUL makes no move to take the money.)

		Suit yourself.

He pockets the fiver, turns away.

			PAUL
		I don't blame you, I'm surprised you stayed so long.

			HAL
		Shut up.

			PAUL
		It's just -

PAUL is suddenly weary.  He puts on the ludicrous hat with care.

			HAL
		It's not as simple as you -

			PAUL
		I know.

			HAL
		Not diagnosable at the drop of a hat or any other flow-chart, quick-fix -

			PAUL
		I've said, I know!

		(He picks up his bag.)

		I'm getting the weight of her depressions now.

			HAL
		Oh God.

		(PAUL starts to go.)

		Look, I've been thinking -

			PAUL
		(Turns, murderous)  Don't.  (Slight pause as he recovers himself.)

		You disappoint.
		(HAL gestures, mystified.)

		Matter of taste.  She has it, you haven't.

		(He wheels, waving an arm at the decor.)

		What the fuck did all this Cost!

		How  many years was it - solicitor's secretary, export supervisor, dogsbody for hauliers, repping, subbing while you sat at home `freelancing', ringing your bloody girlfriends -

		(His father shoots a look at CLELA.  Who looks back levelly.)

		She cooked your meals, washed your clothes, made you read, had the ideas, wrote your promos, your job applications, mocked up interviews for you, bam, bam, bam...bingo!  Soft-top Merc, expensive deodorant, gold card credit rating...

			HAL
		And I'm grateful for -

			PAUL
		There was still no money for the bloody gas bill.  No Shangri-La on the domestic front -

			HAL
		That's enough.  Moira has her own style.  She makes her own choices, she always has.

			CLELA
		And I'd love to help!  If she would just - relate a little.  I know Moira thinks - but I do have insights into her problems, I'm a woman, we do have things in common -

PAUL, going, gives her such a threatening look that she prudently steps out of the way.  His father rises angrily but PAUL is quick, backs away.  His father contains himself.

			HAL
		Give my regards to your mother.  If she has any more trouble with the car, tell her to let me know, I'll try and fix a trade in.

			PAUL
		The old banger?  We sold it last winter to pay the plumber.

He goes.  Silence.  HAL sits, makes a show of relaxing.  He looks across to CLELA.

			HAL
		Show me something nice.

She takes out one tit.

NICK reprises his song.

SCENE 6.

A room in the house of Toby's mother, JOY.  A rickety table, odd chairs, dirty cups, saucers full of cigarette ends.  A large poster with a badly-drawn clenched fist.

TOBY at the table doing his French homework with the aid of a dictionary.  ERNEST enters.  He is a spare-framed man in his early fifties, wears an old navy coat, shiny with age.  He enters as if by habit, takes off his coat, folds it and puts it to one side.

			ERNEST
		Where's your Mum?  (TOBY goes on with his work.)  It's nearly half-past!

He collects the teacups, puts them on a piece of board that acts as a tray, exits.

SCOTTIE enters.  He is a big man, looks older than his thirty-seven years.  He and TOBY acknowledge each other with nods, TOBY looks up translations in his dictionary.

			TOBY
		She's not back yet.

SCOTTIE nods, sits, looks at the racing results in his evening paper.

Pause.  NICK and PAUL enter.

			NICK
		Hi, Scottie.

			PAUL
		'Lo, Scot.

			SCOTTIE
		(Glasgow accent)  Hullo to ye.

		(NICK offers SCOTTIE his cigarettes.  He takes one.)

		Thanks.  (He lights up with an enormous lighter.)

PAUL leans over TOBY'S shoulder.

			PAUL
		Hey is that the French homework?

He and NICK lurch onto TOBY, cribbing over his shoulder.

			TOBY
		(Not stopping them)  Get off.

CLAIRE enters.  They  nod at her casually.

			CLAIRE
		Well?

			NICK
		What?

			CLAIRE
		Have you brought them?

		The leaflets!

			PAUL
		Oh Christ, I forgot.

			SCOTTIE
		Won't get the revolution that way.

			NICK
		Where's Joy?

			TOBY
		Out.

ERNEST enters with a large enamel pot of tea, cups, sugar, milk in the bottle.  They all fall on it, NICK grabbing the large mug.

			CLAIRE
		Hey, that's Scottie's!

She wrests the mug from NICK, pours tea, adds milk, gives it to SCOTTIE.  Who is very chuffed at her attention.

			SCOTTIE
		Thanks hen.

ANN enters.  She is dressed down, but is over-neat in jeans.  Her manner is bright, breezy and manic.  She has a middle-class accent.

			ANN
		Hi everybody - am I late?

			ERNEST
		Joy's not here yet.

			ANN
		I was on the demo.  Honestly, the fucking fuzz -I was lucky not to get my head bashed in!

			SCOTTIE
		(Soberly)  They had the whangers out, eh?

			ANN
		I thought they were going to, any minute.

PAUL turns away from her dismissively.

			ANN
		(Agitated at the snub)  There was a terrific turnout!

			NICK
		What was it for?

			ANN
		(Showing him up for not knowing)  The Bolivians!

		(Honour restored, she smiles around.)

		Oh good, tea!

They settle down around the table.  ERNEST, on his feet, pours.  The chair at the head of the table is kept vacant, SCOTTIE sits to the left of it, ERNEST, wants to sit on the right but is beaten to it by PAUL.  He looks as if he will protest, bangs down the teapot, leaving them to helpp themselves, then sits at the other end.  NICK is left without a seat.  TOBY sees this, rises, shoves NICK down, exits, re-enters at once with an old p lastic Sanibin, empties the rubbish in one chuck into the corner, upsends the bin and sits.  They drink tea.

			NICK
		Any biscuits?

Thwarted, he bends to his tea.

			SCOTTIE
		(To TOBY)  Did she say she'd be late?

TOBY shrugs.  ERNEST rises, crosses, gets a sheaf of papers from his coat pocket and hands them round.

			ERNEST
		Minutes from the last meeting.

They all look these over.

			CLAIRE
		What does it mean, Point 2/d - `recommended that the group proceed with the setting up of a procedural mechanism to be ratified by future working party stroke meetings.'

			ANN
		Oh, it's quite simple - you weren't here.  It just means that each meeting constitutes a meeting of the working party -

			CLAIRE
		I can see that.  I'm querying the meaning of group, meeting and working party.  There are at least two opposing definitions here.

			ANN
		It's quite simple.

			CLAIRE
		No it's not, it bloody isn't.  Who wrote up the minutes?

			PAUL
		Ern.

			ERNEST
		It was decided to leave the definitions of all terms open after a general discussion -

			TOBY
		After a fucking row -

			ANN
		Nonsense, there wasn't a row, it was -

			NICK
		A heated discussion, leading to stand-off, impasse, nuclear fall-out -

			PAUL
		A bloody row.

			CLAIRE
		(Looking at the paper)  This is going to need a lot of clarification.

			ANN
		(Hot)  There's nothing to clarify!  All the terms were defined - (to PAUL) right?  (He looks up at her mildly, irritating her.)  Scottie?  Ernest?  Ernest - (gesturing for him to speak.)

			ERNEST
		I propose we wait for Joy.

			SCOTTIE
		Seconded.

			NICK
		(Murmurs)  Speak of the devil.

JOY enters.  She is a full-bosomed woman with black hair and a face like a white negro - intense, passionate, almost indecently alive, with wide nostrils and eyes which bulge frighteningly when she is worked up.  There is a permanent ferocity.  A really frightening woman.  She looks round.  NICK smiles at her ingratiatingly.

			JOY
		(To NICK)  What are you grinning at?

Silence.  ERNEST wipes out a mug, pours JOY tea, adds three spoonfuls of sugar.

			SCOTTIE
		(To JOY)  Declare the meeting open?

		(JOY nods.)

		Who's going to chair?

		(Silence.)

		Propose Joy to take the chair.

			NICK
		(Prompt)  Seconded.

			SCOTTIE
		Joy?

She nods.

ERNEST walks the length of the table, deposits papers before her.

			ERNEST
		Minutes.  (She looks up at him evilly.)  Oh, you've got a copy of course.  Sorry about that.  (Pompous and loud)  So, who's going to read the minutes?  Toby?  (TOBY, head down, picks his teeth.  ERNEST looks at PAUL and NICK, dismisses them - looks at ANN, who half rises.  ERNEST makes to reject her but CLAIRE, seeing this, rises.)

			CLAIRE
		I'll do it.

ANN, puzzled, sits back.

			ANN
		D'you think you should?  You weren't here last week.  On a point of clarity.

			NICK
		OK, I'll read them if that's all right.  (He reads quickly before any argument.)  `Jim McBride went through the minutes of the previous meeting.  Ann Morris and Jim agreed - '

			ERNEST
		(Correcting him)  Jim McBride -

			NICK
		`- Jim McBride agreed that Ernest Thompson's request to constitute the group was, in fact, a formalisation...'  What?  (To JOY, who scrapes her chair loudly.)

			JOY
		This is no bloody good.

			SCOTTIE
		What's wrong wi' it?

			JOY
		Bloody names all over everything!  Burn the lot.

			CLAIRE
		(As ERNEST makes to pick up all the papers.)  We can't use our own names?

			JOY
		What do you think!

			ERNEST
		Joy's right.

			PAUL
		Good, can we have code names?

			NICK
		Great!  What you going to call yourself, Tobe?

			TOBY
		Sausage.

			PAUL
		(To NICK)  Nick?  Cheese Roll?  Egg on Toast?

			NICK
		Sabra.

			CLAIRE
		Sabra?  What's that?

			NICK
		Well in Israel it means a native Israeli-born citizen.  The original meanding is the fruit of the prickly pear...tough on the outside, sweet as honey inside.

			ANN
		(Charmed)  Oh, Nick!

			CLAIRE
		(Cheerfully)  Sounds like a bloody girl's name - (to ANN)  What about you?  Princess Anne?  Glenda Jackson?

			ANN
		Haven't a clue.

			NICK
		Ernie, you could be Fred, for Fred Engels.

			ERNEST
		Are you trying to be funny?

He rises, angry.  JOY cuts across.  She points round the table in turn.

			JOY
		A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H.

		OK?
			NICK
		What am I, I've forgotten what I am.
They all count and say, severally, `F'.

			TOBY
		You're F.

			NICK
		So I am.

			ERNEST
		Well get on then!

			NICK
		What?  Oh, I'm reading the minutes, yeah?  Hang on.  (Mutters under his breath, getting to his place.)  Right then.  (Takes a deep breath, then)  Do you want me to put in the code names as I go along, Joy?

			ANN
		We might as well get into the habit.

			SCOTTIE
		Ye'll slow things up.

			PAUL
		No, go on.  We'll sort it out later.

			NICK
		(Reads)  `Point two.  Ernest Thompson was asked to read the resolutions drafted by the previous meeting.  He reported that these resolutions coincided with the procedural points which he had also been requested to formulate, fourteen in all.  He then proceeded to read the resolutions and then the fourteen proposals, a list of which should be presented to the meeting of May nine.  Jim McBride at this point asked if there were any objections from those present to deciding on a procedural mechanism.  There were no objections.'

			CLAIRE
		On a point of order - there were.

			JOY
		Later.

			CLAIRE
		There were objections, Joy.  You yourself -

			JOY
		I said later.

			NICK
		Shall I go on?

			TOBY
		(Mutters)  Oh God.

			NICK
		I'll go on.  (Reads)  `The present working party stroke meeting recommended that the group proceed with the setting up of a procedural mechanism to be ratified by future workign parties stroke meetings.  Point three.  Ernest's recommendations, see Point two, were discussed and a start was made for them to be set out as recommended for future working parties stroke meetings.'

CLAIRE sighs impatiently.

			ANN
		You'll see exactly what we mean in the next point!

			NICK
		`Point three...'

			ERNEST
		Point four.

			CLAIRE
		Point four.  (Together.)

			NICK
		Sorry.  `Point four.  It was suggested and agreed that, semi-colon, Working Party will in future mean all those in the group listted in Number One of Ernest's recommendations, working towards setting up a constitution for the group.  And that Meeting will refer to those members of the working party present at one particular meeting.'

			CLAIRE
		What's happened to `the Group'?

			PAUL
		Gone up in fag smoke.  Anybody got a cigarette?

			NICK
		Help yourself.  `The meeting then formally adjourned as Jim McBride was drunk and Joy and Ernest had to leave for the Hoxton protest.  There was an hour of self-criticism and it was suggested that this week's meeting should include formal inter-criticism as a follow-on.'

			ANN
		We might as well get in the habit.

			SCOTTIE
		Nah-nah.  No wank-offs.

			ANN
		Why not?

			SCOTTIE
		OK hen.

			ANN
		Hang on, we haven't had the meeting yet - we've only been hearing the minutes -

			ERNEST
		(To JOY)  Break for a cuppa, Joy?  (Aside)  I've got a drop of something.

			JOY
		Suti yourselves.

			NICK
		Whose turn is it to make tea?  Draw straws? - oh, all right.

He exits, followed by ANN with the cups and pot, which he has forgotten.  She returns at once.  JOY and ERNIE confer.

			ANN
		Shall we start the criticism, we might as well, I'm dying for my turn.

			CLAIRE
		What?

			ANN
		I do think I was as self-critical as anybody last week.

			CLAIRE
		(Aloud, to PAUL)  Did the poor little rich girl bite the dust again?

			ANN
		Being working class doesn't necessarily confer All the virtues, Claire.  I have done as much for this group as you, in fact a bloody sight more.

			CLAIRE
		Well you've got the time, haven't you?

			ANN
		Yes I have and this is what I choose to do with it.  I Could be sitting on the beach in St Tropez, I don't see why I should be penalised quite so much.

			SCOTTIE
		No, you're fine.  (He moves close.  ANN moves away prudently.)

			PAUL
		Oh, by the way, I can't be here next week, I'm doing an interview.

			SCOTTIE
		Where?

			PAUL
		Cambridge.  Don't worry, I'm passing on it even if I get in.  Which is unlikely.

			ANN
		Yes, and I shall be away from the...(looks at her large leather-covered diary)...from the tenth to the nineteenth.

			TOBY
		Where you going?

			ANN
		To see my people.

			CLAIRE
		The villa?

			ANN
		The villa, Claire.  With the four bathrooms, all en suite.

			CLAIRE
		Hitching, are you?

			ANN
		No, I'm going by plane, want to come?

			CLAIRE
		Sorry - going shark fishing.

			PAUL
		Shut up, both of you.

			CLAIRE
		Sexist!

			ANN
		Chauvinist pig!  (Together.)

A very loud crash, sounds of breaking china, off.  NICK enters.

			NICK
		Sorry.  Sorry, Joy.  I'll pay for -

			CLAIRE
		Oh Christ.

			NICK
		Got any glasses?

			SCOTTIE
		Sit down, for Chrissakes.

			NICK
		Sorry.

JOY seems unphased.

			PAUL
		OK.  So - who's going to start the criticism?  Who loves me most?

			CLAIRE
		Bloody frivolous bastard.

			NICK
		Now, now, now...we haven't all had your privileged background, oh orthodox commie princess.

			ANN
		Let's go round the table.  Scottie?

			SCOTTIE
		Fook that.  (To PAUL)  You're so bloody keen, you start.  Kick off with Claire.  (He knows PAUL fancies CLAIRE.)

			CLAIRE
		Me?

			PAUL
		Why not?  OK.  Ready?

		Claire.  Full of shit...bloody knowall...sharper than a shark's tooth, good record of attendance in the group, could be making bread modelling ...works in Boots on Saturday ot help her Mum.

			NICK
		Can I be best man?		

			PAUL
		Shut up.  Full of crappy ideology - looks lethal if you say the words America or Trotsky -

			CLAIRE
		What's that supposed to mean?

			PAUL
		That your childhood was insular and prejudiced.

			CLAIRE
		Thank you.

			NICK
		Her father will be round to beat you up in the morning.

			PAUL
		She is the best revolutionary we have.
		(Chorus of "oohs" from TOBY and NICK.  CLAIRE is out of face.)

		But bossy.
			CLAIRE
		Fuck off.

			PAUL
		Right, Rosa.  Let me see.

		(He looks round the group.  NICK cringes, ANN looks eager, ERNEST glares.)

		Ernest.  (ERNEST eyeballs him threateningly.)

		Marxist-Leninist theorist.

		Or so he believes.

			ERNEST
		What?

			PAUL
		Ernest...is a religious man...

			SCOTTIE
		(Baffled)  Religious?

			PAUL
		...his thinking shaped and confined by chapel-going stroke trade unionist background -

		(A chorus of disagreement.  ERNEST looks ready for a punch-up.)

		Order...order.  Just teasing.

			SCOTTIE
		What it - Ernie?

			ERNEST
		Later.

			ANN
		Go on, Paul.

PAUL looks round the table.  TOBY, head down, is doodling furiously.

			PAUL
		Toby.

TOBY looks up, surprised.

			PAUL  (Cont'd)
		Old Tobe.  Son and heir of the founder of our group.  Plays with his cards bosticked to his nipples.  Genuine Marxist?  Hard to say.  Fully committed, revolutionarily or is he just keeping Mum happy?

TOBY looks up with a steely glance.
			PAUL
		Why so secretive, brother?

It is a personal appeal, that hangs in the air.

			ANN
		Is that all?  (To TOBY)  You didn't get much of a going over.

			PAUL
		Ann.

			ANN
		Yes.

			PAUL
		Disaffected.

			ANN
		Is that all?

			PAUL
		That's all.

			ANN
		(Disappointed)  What?

			SCOTTIE
		Can ye no expand a wee bit, Paul?  The girl needs feedback.

			PAUL
		What do you want me to say?  Brought up by servants, sent away to school at six -

			ANN
		What has that got -

			PAUL
		The night I walked you home and met your mother...

			ANN
		So?

			PAUL
		You knifed her, bam bam bam, I could hardly dodge for the flak.

			ANN
		What's that got -

			PAUL
		A chronic case of disaffection.  Name it, she'll protest about it.  You're politically illiterate, mentally lazy, bloody quarrelsome - inadequate - and dangerous.

			ANN
		Oh now look here - is this supposed to be a character assassination session, that's a bloody load of rubbish, really it's so immature.  There's no room for this sort of petty spite, I mean, I'm prepared to take criticism - it was Joy who said we leave our personal lives outside when we come through the door -

			PAUL
		(Cutting across her)  Nevertheless...nevertheless she has one immensely valuable asset to this group.  Her energy.  She's loaded with it, and it's on offer.  To us.  She doesn't need to be here.  We're not in her interest.  Technically she is our enemy - an enemy of the people - a target for destruction.  But here she is.  Doing most of the paper work and - when she doesn't try to talk politics - great.

			ANN
		Thank you.

			PAUL
		Not at all.  Scottie.

			SCOTTIE
		Right, man.

			PAUL
		Works hard, drinks too much, thinks he's God's gift to women when he's drunk - (laughter) - has no will to power, make other people's will to power seem unworthy...you're a lovely man, Scot, you make us better than we are - and if Scotland is so bloody marvellous why did you up hooks?

Laughter.  PAUL looks round the table.  ERNEST and JOY are conferring again.  PAUL looks at JOY.  Who looks up at the sudden quiet.

			SCOTTIE
		Joy.  Paul's ready to take you on.

			JOY
		Break over.  Agenda.  Proposals for working party procedure...then Finance...Action.  (On the last word she leans forward, eyes bulging mesmerically.)

			ANN
		Good!

			JOY
		I'll read the proposals for the working party procedure.

			CLAIRE
		To be ratified.

JOY glares at her.

			SCOTTIE
		(To JOY)  Open discussion?

			JOY
		(Grimaces, then reads)  `One.  Until a constitution and principles are agreed upon, each meeting of what was called the group is considered a working party to set up a constitution that is a definition of the group.  Two.  Each meeting passes on its work as a responsibility to the next working party.  Three.  Meetings of the working party will be weekly, with frequent changes of venue, day and time.  Four.  Each meeting will have a chair, by rota, and be minuted.  Five.  A quorum will be five.  Six.  Agendas for meetings will be drawn up by the previous working party.  It is the

			JOY  (Cont'd)
		responsibility of all members to keep in contact if they miss a meeting.  Seven.  If new matters are to be dealt with, they should be added to agenda after the previous week's minutes have been read.'

PAUL and NICK show signs of restlessness.

			JOY
		Eight.  A working party which is a quorum and has reached agreement on an issue is empowered by the whole membership to propose it for voting.  Nine.  The working party must decide whether issues are constitutional and therefore require voting on by total membership, or expediant, in which case the working party can ratify, to be finally approved by membership.

			CLAIRE
		So everything will be ratified by full membership?

		(She and JOY lock stares.)

		It is important.

			JOY
		`Ten.  For all voting within working parties or full membership a two-thirds majority is required.'  (To CLAIRE)  Satisfied?

			CLAIRE
		Not entirely, cock.

			JOY
		`Eleven.  Each member has one vote.  Twelve.  All members are members until decided otherwise by the group.  Individualistic resignation will not be allowed.  There are no excuses for failure to attend meetings or to be unaware of time or venue.  All members must be up to date with group work.  Lateness will not be tolerated.'

			SCOTTIE
		Does this not assume that all meetings will be fully attended?  Is the term working party therefore not now rendered obsolete?

Some groans.

			ANN
		Scottie, we thrashed all this out last week.

			CLAIRE
		What a load of shit.  Of course we can't all be here for every meeting...are you nuts or something?  Scottie's on construction - he doesn't know where he'll be week to week!  All this crap about meetings and working parties, now we've all got to be here, on the dot, every bloody - some of us have to earn a living - I'm in the school play, apart from working nights at Sandy's.

			ERNEST
		It's a declaration of intent.

			CLAIRE
		Are you crackers?  You can't declare your intention to do the impossible.

			ANN
		We've been thrashing this out for six months.  Some of us want action.

The BOYS are making covert signals of agreement to leave.

JOY hands papers to ERNEST to be handed round.

			JOY
		Procedural suggestions.  Read them.  Any amendments to be tabled for discussion next week.  Who's taking the minutes?  Isn't anybody taking the minutes?

			ANN
		I've been making notes.

			JOY
		Ratification to take place next week and amendments to be discussed and voted.  Item two on the agenda...finance.

Groans at the word `finance'.  SCOTTIE tips the ash out of the big ash-tray, blows the rest in everyone's face and sends it round for contributions.  PAUL pokes about uselessly in his pockets.  TOBY makes for the door.

			JOY
		Where are you going?

			TOBY
		Violin practice.

PAUL and NICK rise.

			NICK
		We've gotta go.

			JOY
		Where?

			SCOTTIE
		Aye and what's happened to your friend, the wee black feller?

			NICK
		De Forrest?  That's where we're going to find out, right Paul?

			PAUL
		We think he may have gone over to the SWP.

			ERNEST
		Bloody right-wing fascists - trust them to hoover up the spades -

CLAIRE shakes her head, laughs at this.

			NICK
		We're nipping over to infiltrate.

			PAUL
		Yeah - do a recce.

Some suspicion of the truth of this.  ERNEST consults JOY.  She looks brutal.

			ERNEST
		(Mutters to JOY)  His name may have to go on the list.

			PAUL
		List?  What list?

		(Silence.)

		I'm sorry but - what list?

			TOBY
		(At the door)  Are you coming?

			PAUL
		What are you going to do to him?

			JOY
		Wouldn't you like to know!

			CLAIRE
		What's all this about?

			PAUL
		Yes I would.  I would like to know.  I'm a fully paid up member of this group, well a member of this group.  I don't know of any list.  (To ANN)  Do you know anything about it?  (To CLAIRE)  Do you?  Look, De Forrest's Kosher, he's not some fucking elite pseudo-fascist dick-wagging shit-face......what list?

		(Silence.  JOY sneers.)

		Right.  I submit an item for next week's agenda.  Discussion of secret list mentioned at this meeting by him - (Points at ERNEST) full and open discussion, vote to be taken.

			JOY
		Are you going or staying?

			PAUL
		Going?

			JOY
		Well piss off then.

The BOYS go.  Silence.

			ERNEST
		Bloody little entrepreneurs.  They think we're a good laugh.

			JOY
		Because that is what we are.

			ERNEST
		I'm not joking.  This isn't funny.

			JOY
		Yes it is.  We all are.

			ANN
		Joy's right.  They're just making fun of us.

			ERNEST
		So I'm a joke, am I?

			SCOTTIE
		Aye well, the new elite...comprehensives.
			ANN
		They're so immature!

			CLAIRE
		Yeah, like you, going on about the noble proletariat.  Well, she gets on my nerves.

			JOY
		(To CLAIRE, silky)  Ready for action are you?

			CLAIRE
		You know where I stand, Joy.

			JOY
		Oh, we know that.  All mouth is one thing.

			CLAIRE
		I don't believe in it.

			JOY
		(Mocking her)  `I don't believe in it'!

			ANN
		Believe in what?

			SCOTTIE
		Direct action.

CLAIRE rises, puts on her jacket.

			CLAIRE
		Violence.

		(She approaches JOY, leans down, nose to nose.)

		Not one hair of one baby's head.

			ANN
		Oh, honestly, that is so romantic.

ERNEST and JOY look at her with interest and exchange a glance.

			ERNEST
		Pub?  Drink?

			JOY
		I'm closing the meeting.  (To ANN)  You can do the minutes.

			ANN
		Right, Joy.  Look - typical.  (The BOYS have left their sheets.)

			CLAIRE
		Some of those are Toby's.  He lives here.

			ERNEST
		(To JOY)  A couple of drinks round the corner?
	
			JOY
		(Shakes her head)  I need to talk to Scottie.

JOY and SCOTTIE leave.  ERNEST is very put out.  ANN tidies officiously, grabs her bag, waves and goes.

			CLAIRE
		You want to get tough with Joy, Ernie.

			ERNEST
		Why don't you mind your own business?

			CLAIRE
		It's what she respects.

			ERNEST
		And you'd know?

			CLAIRE
		Yes I would.

			ERNEST
		Shut your mouth.

			CLAIRE
		Sorry I spoke.

			ERNEST
		Let me tell you something.  When the revolution comes, you'll be first on my list.

She backs off, horrified at his venom, and goes.  He grabs his coat, stands, controlling his fury, and leaves.

ACT TWO.

SCENE 1.

PAUL, NICK and TOBY in a coffee bar, drinking coffee.

			PAUL
		No!

			TOBY
		Oh yes.

NICK leans back, listening to Hendrix in the background on the sound system.

			PAUL
		Guns - they've got guns?

			TOBY
		Yeah.

			PAUL
		What sort of guns?

			TOBY
		They've got a shotgun, a rifle...at least one pistol, maybe two.

			PAUL
		With ammunition?

			TOBY
		Yeah - and bombs.

			PAUL
		Bombs?

			TOBY
		Small ones.  Well - the stuff to make them with.

			NICK
		What are they going to do with them?  With the guns?  (Raising his voice above the music and then looking round to make sure they are not overheard.)

			TOBY
		Use them.

			PAUL
		On what?

			TOBY
		People.

			PAUL
		Who?  Anyone in particular or just people in general?

			TOBY
		I don't know.  The Lord Mayor?  Ted Heath?

			PAUL
		What for?

			NICK
		Because they're there.

			TOBY
		Yeah.

			PAUL
		You really mean they're going to blow people up?

			TOBY
		Yeah -

			PAUL
		You mean - Lords - famous people - MPs -

			TOBY
		Well,  not necessarily, not if it means a long bus journey, it could be that Tory bastard on Kensington Council -

			PAUL
		Anybody right-wing -

			TOBY
		Or Labour.  Wedgie's no safer than Enoch.

			NICK
		Tread softly, Michael Foot.

PAUL rises, paces briefly, sits.

			PAUL
		Tobe, you don't really mean they're gonna kill somebody?

			TOBY
		Yeah, I think they might.  I think they could.

			PAUL
		Your Mum?

		(TOBY looks at him without expression.)

		Scottie? - nah - Ernest?  But what for?

			TOBY
		They think society's rotten.
			PAUL
		But they're society, we're society, we're all rotten, why don't they kill themselves?

			NICK
		I doubt that's the idea.  (Points two finges at his temple.)  Boom-boom - nah.

			PAUL
		But your Mum's had kids for God's sake.

			TOBY
		So?

			PAUL
		Well...I don't know, I mean I don't think Moira could do us in - she's put so much time into - you know - keeping us going.  I mean I know she's a pain in the neck.

		(To TOBY)  Where do they keep it?  The ordnance.

			TOBY
		Dunno.

			PAUL
		Can you find out?

			TOBY
		They're a bit suspicious.

			PAUL
		It's her.  Your fucking mother.  You ought to do something.

			NICK
		What about Ann - is she in on it?

			TOBY
		(Screws his face, wags his head - he's not sure)  Could be.  She knows where they stash it, or she did - she used to clean it?

			PAUL
		Used to?  Not now?

			TOBY
		Dunno.

			NICK
		(Serious)  Give her a fuck, she'll tell you.  (TOBY pulls a face of disgust.  NICK turns to PAUL.)  All right, you then.

			PAUL
		What about you?  You can pull her now, she's just come in the door.
			NICK
		(His back to ANN, who has entered behind him)  Oh very funny.

He leaps up, falls out of his chair as ANN looms up beside him.  PAUL and TOBY rise quickly.

			TOBY
		See you, Nick - hi, Ann.

			ANN
		What are you lot doing in here, you're supposed to be -

			PAUL
		Just going...cheero!

They go.  ANN sits beside NICK.

			ANN
		Why aren't you going?

			NICK
		I'm Jewish.

			ANN
		What's that supposed to mean?

			NICK
		Er...d'you want a coffee?

			ANN
		Why, what are you after?

NICK heaves a deep sigh, puts his hand on her crotch.  She looks alarmed.  He smiles at her gently, earnestly.  She begins to soften.

SCENE 2.

At Nick's.

Nick's parents are dressing to go out to a function.  RACHEL is ready and looks like a ripe nectarine, ready to eat.  RAYMOND is titivating.  RACHEL hands him a folded handkerchief which he arranges in his breast pocket.

			RACHEL
		One of the new ones, with your initial.

			RAYMOND
		Thanks.

He sees to his hair with two brushes, licks his eyebrows - looks round - RACHEL has his cologne at the ready.  He takes it, sprays himself.

			RACHEL
		You look fit to eat, Raymond.

			RAYMOND
		Later darling...double munchies, eh?

They stand side by side, admiring themselves in the glass.

			RAYMOND
		Yup.  We're doing well.

		(She nods, then looks away.)

		What's the matter, what's up?

			RACHEL
		Nothing.

			RAYMOND
		What?

			RACHEL
		It upsets Nicky.  Money.

			RAYMOND
		What?!

			RACHEL
		He says it's exploitering.

			RAYMOND
		Exploitering - exploiting who?

			RACHEL
		The workers.

			RAYMOND
		Yeah - you and me.  Who works harder than us?  Seventy-two on the payroll in London alone, and that's not counting the outworkers.

			RACHEL
		And you're very fair -

			RAYMOND
		Three months off for having a kid - two weeks for Dad - what's he on about?

			RACHEL
		They don't believe in bosses.

			RAYMOND
		Who?

			RACHEL
		His group.

			RAYMOND
		What group?

			RACHEL
		They're...I don't know - alternative.  It's political.

			RAYMOND
		Don't listen to him.  He's a kid, Rachel.  Politics - what does he know about politics - we're politics, bird - politics of experience.  We're out there.  Buying and selling - trade - that's what it's all about...the law of contract - very equitable notion, take my word.  Of course you get the schmoozers and con merchants, they're there to keep you awake.  Now - are you going to wear the stole?

			RACHEL
		(Thinks)  No-o.  The weather's too warm, it'll be seen as showing off.

He laughs.  She joins in.  They can't stop laughing.

			RACHEL
		Oh fuck, I'll wear it.

			RAYMOND
		Good - and mind the language.

			RACHEL
		Sorry.

She picks up the mink stole, strokes it.  He puts it reverently around her shoulders and they go.

SCENE 3.

At Joy's.

JOY masturbates on the corner of the table, tearing off bread, jabbing it into a half-pound of butter and chewing noisily.

TOBY enters and watches her.  She sees him and gives him a hideous smile.  He approaches, sits on the edge of the table and puts his hand on her.  She reaches a climax.  What was ugly and frenzied becomes for a moment ecstatic.  She is transformed into beauty.

SCENE 4.

At school.

A school bell rings.  PAUL, NICK and CLAIRE enter.  A TEACHER pushes past them.

			TEACHER
Come on, clear the doorway.  (To PAUL)  Good luck - it's your viva tomorrow, isn't it?  (Nods and goes.)

			PAUL
		Piss off.  Doesn't even know my name.

			CLAIRE
		You going?

		(PAUL pulls a face.)

		Well, you better clean yourself up -

		(TOBY enters, inspects PAUL severely.)

		- look at his zits - use the Clearasill.

			NICK
		Yeah, no good de Forrest lending him the suit if they think he's got the clap.

PAUL groans.

			PAUL
		Just because of cosmic accident of sperm hitting ovum I shall be the youngest at the wake -

			NICK
		So?

			PAUL
		So - never mind being the stiffest prick at the gig I have to lick ass all round.

			CLAIRE
		Oh, put yourself out for once.

			PAUL
		Why?  They should be the ones making a case - I haven't done anything yet.

			CLAIRE
		He's nervous.

			PAUL
		I am not.

			CLAIRE
		Go on - admit it.

			PAUL
		Bollicks.

		What I -

		What I -

		What I am waiting for is to meet one human being I don't despise.

			CLAIRE
		Thanks.

			PAUL
		If they weren't all so fucking ugly!

TOBY laughs.

			TOBY
		Yeah, but they got the power, man.

			PAUL
		Waste of time, tomorrow - if I get it, I'm not going.

			CLAIRE
		Hah!  (Hitches her bag and goes.)

			NICK
		Yeah, yeah, yeah.

			PAUL
		OK.  So what are you going to do with the rest of your life, spawn of David's loins?

			NICK
		You forget, I have yet to donate Miss Hutchings my essay on Disraeli.  I think...yes...perhaps we'll honeymoon in Crete...or that other one where Aphrodite came out of the foam...

He goes.  Silence.

			TOBY
		They want to see us.

			PAUL
		Who?

			TOBY
		Yoy and Ern!

			PAUL
		What for?

			TOBY
		Dunno.  Something's up, she's - I don't know.

			PAUL
		How's Nick getting on with Miss Knightsbridge - mad Ann?  Any infor?

			TOBY
		Big number, so he says, but she won't tell him anything.  Come round tonight?

			PAUL
		I can't.  Moira's on a downer.

			TOBY
		They won't like it.

			PAUL
		Cover for me.  Say I've turned gay, I'm a security risk.

		What's she up to, Toby?

			TOBY
		I dunno.

			PAUL
		Why do I think she wants to blow somebody's head off?

			TOBY
		(Sharp)  No.

They look at each other.  TOBY is hostile.  He goes.  PAUL watches him, frowning with worry.
NICK sings.

SCENE 5.

At Moira's.

PAUL and MOIRA.  He looks handsome in a dark blue suit.  They sit, side by side, moody.

			MOIRA
		I blame myself.

Pause.

			PAUL
		What for?

			MOIRA
		Encouraging you to be an outsider.  Bloody self-indulgent...

		Were you rude?

			PAUL
		No, actually it was going well.  They were pissed, they'd had a good lunch, they even seemed interested in what I had to say.

			MOIRA
		What were you saying?

			PAUL
		Oh...I don't know...stuff about inequality of opportunity - the most being the most deprived social workers as sticking plaster...they were all over me.  One old girl got quite kittenish.

			MOIRA
		So why did you walk out?

			PAUL
		They started to show off - then the snide jokes -internecine snipes but not witty enough.  Rats in a cage - not one brave enough to put a toe in the oggin, bunch of losers - God I hate academics.

			MOIRA
		So you walked?

			PAUL
		Left them to it.

			MOIRA
		What did they say?

			PAUL
		Didn't even notice.  Moira, I don't give a fuck.  They are a disgrace.  Ordure.  Parasites.

Pause.

			MOIRA
		We wanted so much for you.  After that dreary war - a new start, we voted then in!  Parity, decent houses, food, education - a shining civil life for all - fair play - equal chances - God, what a pusillinamous mess we made of it - they should have gone!

			PAUL 
		Who?

			MOIRA
		The public schools - titles - royalty - we should have made a republic - we could have done it then.

			PAUL
		Nah - the English are romantic - and sentimental.  Something was done, you were all green, that's all.  Some of it was all right - oh, don't cry!

He lifts her, swings her round, sets her down.

			PAUL
		All this lovely lovely energy - I could build Chartres Cathedral but who wants balls, they went out when gunpowder was invented.

			MOIRA
		Not really.
	
			PAUL
		Yeah - guess we need 'em for screwing.

			MOIRA
		And falling in love, or is that too romantic - sentimental?

			PAUL
		Not at all, I'm in love with Claire - and Greta Garbo of course.

			MOIRA
		Pasta?

			PAUL
		No thanks.  Look, d'you mind if I go out?

			MOIRA
		(He has said the wrong thing)  Of course not, why should I mind?

			PAUL
		I'd rather stay in, it's just something I've got to ...it's important.

			MOIRA
		Trouble?

			PAUL
		No, no.

			MOIRA
		You haven't been dealing again?

			PAUL
		No.  I just need to see Toby.  Won't be long.

He goes.  MOIRA sits, not knowing what to do with herself.

SCENE 6.

NICK at home.

NICK strums.

			RAYMOND
		(Calls)  Where are you?

		(He enters.)

		There you are.

			NICK
		Yup.

		(RAYMOND looms, awkward.)

		What's up.

			RAYMOND
		Nothing.

		No, nothing.

		Your mother's worried.

			NICK
		I only drank half a bottle of creme de monthe!

			RAYMOND
		It's not that.

			NICK
		What then?

			RAYMOND
		She thinks you're in trouble.

			NICK
		What kind of trouble?

			RAYMOND
		So long as it isn't drugs.  It isn't drugs, is it?

			NICK
		No!  Well - cannabis -

			RAYMOND
		(Shrugs this off)  She mentioned politics.

			NICK
		Yeah?

			RAYMOND
		Is it?  Politics?
			NICK
		Yeah, why not?

			RAYMOND
		Have you gone mad?

		Nicky, politics is dangerous, don't you know that?

			NICK
		It's the fashion!  You know - fashion - what we make a living out of.

			RAYMOND
		Yeah - flares, anoraks and Mary Quant rip-offs, not the same thing.  Get out, now.

			NICK
		Look, Pop, it's not serious.  It's all - Display!  One or two nutters but they've got nothing going for them, no real power base.  It's all fashion - combat gear, the Red Flag and revolution talk on six hundred quid leather sofas.  At least our group is skint.

			RAYMOND 
		You're not making any sense at all.

			NICK
		Because there ain't no sense.  What do they know?  I've told you Dad, it's Fashion.

		Mind you, bloody Nazis would never have made it without those uniforms.

They look at each other soberly.

SCENE 7.

Joy's kitchen.

TOBY and JOY with coffee.

A standoof.  She drinks.  He drinks.

			JOY
		(Leans over the table)  Watch out.

			TOBY
		Oh leave it.

			JOY
		Just watch it.

			TOBY
		You think we're going to split on you, turn you in?

			JOY
		There's that fat Jew for a start.

			TOBY
		Nick's not fat, anyway, what's wrong with minority groups?  Suddenly they're all wogs and kikes, I mean, what the fuck is going on?

		(Silence.)

		I BELIEVED in you!

She sneers, turning away from him.

			JOY
		Why don't you just sling your hook?  Get out.  Piss off out of it.

			TOBY
		You know something?  You're evil.

She turns, advances on him.  And he is frightened of her.  He turns, goes quickly.

			JOY
		(Calls)  It's tonight!

Slight pause.  TOBY comes back.

			TOBY
		What?

		(She smiles.)

		Oh Christ.  Where?

		Who's it going to be?  Who's the target?

			JOY
		Sir Duncan Forbes.  KBE.

			TOBY
		That old fart?

		What for?

			JOY
		Strike at the bloody roots, that's what's for.  Marching about with bits of paper - banners - what are you good for - Mensheviks, the lot of you.

			TOBY
		Who's going to do it?

			JOY
		Who do you think?

He gazes at her horrified.  He thinks she means herself.  She realises this.

			JOY
		(Dismissive)  Ern of course, who else has the bottle.  He's There!  The only revolutionary in the group.

			TOBY
		(Shakes his head)   He won't.

			JOY
		You want to bet?

			TOBY
		(Shouts, hoarse)  Call him off!

She smiles.  He leaves quickly.  She laughs.  And looks alive and thrilling.

SCENE 8.

The cafe.

TOBY, NICK and PAUL.

			NICK
		(To TOBY)  Try your place again.

			TOBY
		I've told you - she's not there.
	
			NICK
		D'you think we should ring the police?

		(They look at him.)

		For Christ's sake, if they're running around with shooters -

			PAUL
		(To TOBY)  Turn in the old lady?  She could end up in Holloway and let's face it, she's not accustomed to high living.  Try Ern's again.

			TOBY
		It's half-past seven.  Whenever they are -

			NICK
		Then we have to do it.  Ring him, the old boy they're going to knock off.

TOBY gets up, puts out his hand.  They look for change.  NICK finds some money.

			NICK
		OK, I'll look him up in the book, if he's not listed I'll ring the fuzz - anonymous - I'll do that anyway - there's enough here - (counting the money.)

NICK and TOBY go quickly.  PAUL sits.  CLAIRE enters, sees PAUL, swerves, crosses to him.

			CLAIRE
		Hi, you.

			PAUL
		Where's Joy?  (CLAIRE shrugs - she doesn't know.)  She's got a gun.

			CLAIRE
		Gun?  What -

			PAUL
		They're going to kill somebody.

			CLAIRE
		Kill?  Who?

			PAUL
		(Irritable)  I don't know - some old gink.

			CLAIRE
		What for?

			PAUL
		You don't know anything - ?

			CLAIRE
		No!

			PAUL
		What about Ann?

			CLAIRE
		Ann?

			PAUL
		Where will I find her?

			CLAIRE
		Probably down the community centre scooping the coals out of the bath.

He gets up quickly.

			PAUL
		Can you pay for my coffee?

			CLAIRE
		Sure.

			PAUL
		I love you.

			CLAIRE
		I know.

			PAUL
		Quick - do you love me?

		(She whispers in his ear.)

		What?

			CLAIRE
		I said I love your cock.  Will that do?

			PAUL
		Yeah, dead romantic.  (He goes.)

ERNEST enters, sees CLAIRE.

			ERNEST
		Have you seen Joy?
			CLAIRE
		No I haven't.  The boys are looking for her.

			ERNEST
		Tell them to keep out of it.

			CLAIRE
		What's going on, Ern?

He gives her a triumphant, baleful glare and goes.  NICK enters.

			NICK
		Where's Paul?		

			CLAIRE
		Looking for Ann in case she knows where Joy is.  Ernie's looking for her too.

			NICK
		Together?

			CLAIRE
		No.

			NICK
		Shit.  Toby?

			CLAIRE
		Haven't seen him.

			NICK
		We split, to find a 'phone.  (He sits.)  I rang the bloody fuss.

			CLAIRE
		What?!

			NICK
		Just anonymous - I said this guy, Sir Duncan Forbes -

			CLAIRE
		Who?

			NICK
		He's the target - was going to be wasted - tonight.

			CLAIRE
		What?  (Goes quickly.)

			NICK
		It's OK, I didn't give names!

JOY enters.  NICK freezes.  She ignores him as he pulls out a seat for her...sits apart from him.

ERNEST returns, sees JOY and joins her.  They talk, heads down.  JOY gestures, ERNEST nods and nods.  NICK can't sit still.  He dodges off, comes back on - cranes, looking for PAUL and TOBY - smiles weakly when JOY and ERNEST look at him suspiciously.

			NICK
		I'm waiting for Tobe and Paul.  We're going to catch a movie.  About the Bader-Meinhofs.

		(They ignore him.)

		Worth seeing.

		Maybe we should have a film section in the group.

		I know - art section.  Books, magazines - films, plays - our own magazine culling the crap - sell it on the street - get the message out - people need to recognise bourgeois crap for what it is -

		(They ignore him.)

			NICK  (Cont'd)
		Where's Scottie?  I thought he was - weren't you all - no - got that wrong - that's tomorrow -pre-meeting advisory group, yeah?

JOY mutters vehemently to ERNEST and rises.  NICK panics.

			NICK
		Toby's looking for you Joy - he - there's something - he's got something for you -

			JOY
		What?

			NICK
		He didn't say - he said it was urgent - a message - and he had something - a parcel for you - he said you'd know what it was -

PAUL and ANN enter.  They stop dead at the sight of JOY.

			PAUL
		Hi Joy, hi Enr.

			JOY
		What do you want?

		(She makes to go past him.  He takes her arm.)

		What?

			PAUL
		I need - Joy, I need your help - you're the Leader - Ernest, I need to ask Joy's advice - there's no-one else.  Ann suggested that I ask you - you're the only sane voice I know -

			ANN
		Absolutely.

They almost push her into a chair.

			JOY
		What is it, what do you want?

			PAUL
		Group solidarity - we can count on you - you're all that stands between us and chaos, Joy.  You're the only clear head - we need clarity -

			ANN
		Precision -

			PAUL
		Guidance -

			ANN
		Now -

			PAUL
		Urgently.

		Please - there's a crisis.

			JOY
		Crisis?  What crisis?

			PAUL
		I - ah -

			JOY
		What crisis?  Get out of my way - I've better things to do - don't give me fucking -

CLAIRE and TOBY enter, arm in arm.  JOY, on her feet, glares at them.

			JOY
		(To TOBY)  What is it?  The message?

			TOBY
		Message?

			JOY
		He says - (looks at PAUL) - (to CLAIRE) keep your hands to yourself -

			CLAIRE
		(Teasing)  Oooh!

Exaggeratedly she removes her hand from TOBY'S shoulder.  TOBY stares at his mother, defiantly.  He puts an arm around CLAIRE.  CLAIRE puts an arm around him.

			JOY
		Get off.

			PAUL
		(Urgent)  Claire, cut it out!

CLAIRE looks at him, grins, then turns, kisses TOBY on the cheek, nuzzlzing, and lifts a leg around him.

			CLAIRE
		Coffee, darling?

As she walks away to get coffee, JOY pulls out a gun and aims at her.  TOBY dives in front of CLAIRE, takes the round, makes an odd, stumbling step towards JOY and falls in front of her.

PAUL leaps forward, lifts TOBY in his arms and is covered in his blood.

EPILOGUE.

The House of Commons Committee Room.

The government meeting is over.  Only ANN and PAUL are left.  ANN, perched on the side of the table, is enjoying a cigarette.

			ANN
		Well...

			PAUL
		Well!

		(He bows his head to her, smiling.)

		Good meeting, but will we get anything.

			ANN
		Yes, I think so.  Not as much as you hoped, and not nearly as much as you need.

She closes her briefcase.

			PAUL
		Busy?

			ANN
		Oh yes!  (She pauses)  Do you ever see - I mean -

			PAUL
		See any of the - ?

			ANN
		No - well - it's twenty years.

		(Slight pause)  I scarpered.

			PAUL
		Understandably.

			ANN
		I was scared, Paul.  I didn't want to be shot.

			PAUL
		You went home?

			ANN
		No.  To Canada, to my cousins.  Worked on the farm for a year.  Took a couple of degrees - came back - lectured - (he gestures enquiry) - politics and economics - got married to Ian, structural engineer - 3 children Ian, Tom and Sasha, then there was a call for women candidates, so -

He nods.
			PAUL
		You were always the hardest worker.

			ANN
		What happened, Paul?  I couldn't even look at a newspaper.

			PAUL
		It took him two days to die...he was so angry.

ANN groans.

			PAUL
		She was diagnosed as deranged.

			ANN
		How on earth could we have - I believed in her!

			PAUL
		Yes.

			ANN
		Hah.  You and Nick were always subversive.

		What happened to Ernest?

			PAUL
		Disappeared.  Scottie went back to Glasgow - Jim McBride went to sea, till he fell of a boat, A/A now -

			ANN
		Nick?

			PAUL
		Makes a fortune in sound systems - has a manor in Wales with geese and miniature ponies for his daughters.  His partner designs glassware.

			ANN
		And Joy?  Is Joy still - ?

			PAUL
		Confined?  Oh yes.  She's in good health.  Writes - rather well - her theories would make a lot of sense if you didn't have to apply them to human beings.

			ANN
		You've read them?

			PAUL
		I visit her.

Silence.  She looks up at him.

			ANN
		Oh, Paul.

			PAUL
		He was lovely, old Tobe.  All fixed points, like Joy, but sane.  Like an uncracked bell, a shining-shelled hazelnut, full of nutrition.  You can't knock off life.  It's irreplaceable - the only magic we have.  I can't kill an ant.

She leans up, kisses him.  He picks up her briefcase, helps her on with her jacket.

			ANN
		I have to be honest, Paul.  I'm not mad about slugs.

			PAUL
		That's racist.  Just because they're grey and slimy -

			ANN
		And squidgy when you tread on them.

			PAUL
		So - get my amendments through then we can regenerate the forests, the birds will breed again and the thrushes can see to the slugs.

ANN laughs.

			PAUL
		It's really very simple, Ann.

		So, so simple.

They go.

THE END.